How to Get An Early Sign Off from a Ship?? Here is the Idea....
If you are a mariner, then I bet you have been in a situation where in you have reached a saturation point while sailing and just couldn’t take it anymore. It is a fact that, sailing continuously for several months requires a strong mindset and a great inner will. In absence of either of them, you are sure to face conditions of seasickness, homesickness, and for that matter, anything and everything related to sickness.
Believe it or not, we all have our own biological clocks of enduring things, and after a certain level of resisting we all succumb to irrational ways of avoiding the thing that has started taking a toll on us. For few mariners, four months on ship can seem like four years, whereas for some four lives back-to-back on the same ship wouldn’t suffice their thirst to sail. However, if you fall in the first category, needless to say, you will be having your own set of armours to escape and defend yourself from the mundane and stressing life of the ship.
Let’s accept it that at some point of time, we all have tried childlike and insensible excuses to get an early sign-off from the ship. Some mariners are so good at acting and creating scenes that even the finest actors would get a complex looking at their pantomime. But let’s not say they are being childlike, for we all are humans, and have our own limits.
In this article we have brought to you some of the best excuses ever made my mariners on ships to get an early or immediate sign-off from the ship. Let us tell you that each one of these excuses have worked (No offence to the shipping companies/captains who believed them). The top 10 excuses for getting an early sign off is the result of a small survey which was conducted on the mariners presently sailing on ships.
The Top 10 Ways to Get an Early Sign-Off from a Ship are as follows :
1. Get Yourself Injured
Yes, you heard it right. This is a painful but a sure-shot way to get an immediate signoff from the ship (You would even save your airfare and would get free medical). Hammer your hand, stand in front of a steam line leakage, fracture yourself from jumping off a deck – you are the right one to judge your enduring power. Once done, tell the captain you met with an accident and of course cannot work anymore. You are surely free. However, this is a very risky option, so please try at your own risk.
2. Tell the Captain Your Wedding Date has been fixed
This is the second sure-shot reason no captain will turn down or ignore. However, you will require some solid sub-reasons to back it up. You can probably say that your grandfather is seriously ill and therefore the wedding has been preponed to seek the particular persons’ blessings. This reason has been used several times and has also been successful. So make sure you use it in the best possible manner and get the most out of it.
3. Your Wife is Pregnant
This reason is possible only if you are married. Even if you are not, you can always tell them you are engaged. (However, this won’t be a valid thing to say if you come from a region with a conservative social culture). Your better half always relies on you and for this particular matter it definitely does. You can definitely tell the company that the delivery has now been preponed by so-and-so days. This is definitely a powerful reason to get a signoff. You can even say this is your second child, in case you already have one.4. Arguing with the seniors
Yes, argue with the seniors. Get the rebel out of you in case you desperately need a sign-off. Argue with everyone on ship. Get furious and angry on petty things. If needed indulge in some man-handling. In short, being the odd one out on the ship is the best way to get an early sign-off. However, this would be a negative remark in your profile. Beware of the after effects in the first place.
5. Avoid Work – Stop Doing Work, Turn up late for work
Don’t work. This is what you need to do in case other attempts have failed. Stop doing work (when needed the most), turn up late for duty, don’t do work assigned by the seniors, and if possible be a reason for a mishap or a small accident. This would definitely turn the seniors against you and you will be sent home within no time. However, this is sure to create a negative impact on your profile. Beware
6. Stomach Ache – Kidney Stone
This was one of the best excuses a few years back but later lost its charm because of the advancements in medical assessment and procedures. However, still many companies don’t want to take a chance with people carrying stones in their kidneys and would be more than willing to send them back home rather than taking any risks. Try it out, this excuse might work.
7. Bypass Surgery of Your Father and No Responsible Person at Home
This reason is one of the most solid and reasonable sounding one ever. You will not only present yourself as a responsible member of your family but would also gain respect in the eyes of your captain and company. But the question here is how far you can lie to get yourself a sign-off. Will you be able to lie on something as dear as your father? If you find yourself in such “guilt” situation, you may very well build a story around a not-so-dear family member of yours. The choice is yours.
8. Demise in the Family
Yet another excuse that might get your morality snapping back at you. However, you can always use this excuse to tell about a person in your family who has already passed away. What’s the harm? Now I guess making an excuse about an already dead person is not that big a sin as making a false story about the one that is alive. At the end, it’s your prerogative if you want to go for this one or not.
9. You See Ghost at Night While Working
Sounds ridiculous? Well it may help. If you have a 12-4 watch at night then you can definitely go for this excuse. Everyone who has worked on ships might have come across ghost stories about their ship. Many people still believe that ships are one of the most favoured places by ghosts. This excuse might sound funny but can be a solid reason for you to avoid work and eventually get a sign off.
10. Pretend You are a Gay
This is a solid excuse to get a sign-off, but you need a substantial 2-3 months along with some acting experience to create an image of being a gay person. Though people around the world have become broadminded, they get a bit petrified in the presence of a gay person. And a gay on ship is definitely a person to stay away with for a variety of reasons. Pretend you are a gay and there are good chances that you will get a sign-off. However, the image of a gay person doesn’t diminish soon and so consider this option only if it is your last voyage with that particular company.
CHOOSE UR WAY OUT FROM THE SHIP......
31 October 2021 at 01:54
Mad or what